Lonesome Lil' Dove

i may look like a big ol' turkey but i'm a lonesome lil' dove...

Thursday, January 26, 2006

i dont know what to do

dennis moved off my floor where i won't be able to look at him. i can't think of how i will see him now. i have been thinking for the past 48 hours about what kind of excuses i will have to make up to go to his department. NO NO NO NO! i keep thinking it's just a bad dream and that i'll wake up but then i wake up and dennis is still off my floor and some WOMAN is now in his cubicle. I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER.

omg i'm am totally being negative huh. i'm so sorry to bug everybody with my love life.

far
======
33 stairs
no more stares
no 1 cares
but me

1 whole floor
3 more doors
now you'll forget
'bout me.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

something awful has happened

but i can't talk about it right now.

keep me in your prayers.

Monday, January 23, 2006

OMG I HATE MONDAYS!

don't EVEN get me STARTED!! Who's with me?


ok i wrote this yesterday (sunday duh lol)

the blue basket
--------------
you see mountains
but i am a pond
you see a dump truck
but i am a basket
a basket of hearts
a basket of flowers
a basket of
of
sometimes sadness
blue sadness
and secrets for you
ssshhhhhhh........



ok i admit i was thinking about dennis :(

Saturday, January 21, 2006

ok you can call me CRAZY but i'd rather you call me LILLY!!

so I have been blogging for exactly 2 days and I just realized that i want to do this forever and i think it's gonna be a WHOLE NEW ME!!


so. drum roll please....

I'm not going to be LISA on the net. I'm making my online name LILIAN because:

1. always loved that name. soooo pretty i think.

2. lilian can be shortend to both LILLY and LIL which also means LITTLE and even though i'm big that's how i feel.

2. my first two online friends (who i have a feeling will soon be OFFline friends too :) are named TILLY and HILLARY!!

and

3. i think we should do a group blog with advice on how to be happy or maybe just angry RANTS or maybe healthy recipes or SOMETHING and we could be HILLY TILLY AND LILLY -- how CUTE is THAT!

so all you thousands of fans who have already linked me (lol) you have to change your link to http://lonesomelildove.blogspot.com

ok! hasta la pasta!

lillian (ooh i love that)

i think i have a "hacker" or a "virus"

i was just reading a "blog" and all the sudden my computer goes "blop blop bleep bloop" and then it "froze" and i had to turn it off and turn it back on!

COMPUTERS!! AAH!! lol!

it's probably trying to say "GET A LIFE LISA!" ha ha. that would be so funny if it actually did.

o well.

virtual insanity
------------------
click click click
searching for something
down mysterious virtual paths
to gardens
to forrests
to new friends
i'm addicted

OMG I HATE PARIS HILTON

I HATE her! i'm not trying to be negative and all but i can't STAND HER!!! do you guys know what i mean? i know i'm not the only one.

ok sorry for the rant.

btw -- when i make sad posts it's not like i'm lying but i'm not as sad as it seems so you don't have to worry. just send hugs and stuff and i'll be fine. i don't know if that even makes any sense. i'm OFF MY ROCKER! ha ha.

ok bye!

%$&#

everything was going great, i was watching CSI and was going to go to sleep. my babies were all curled at my feet and then i thought i should have a glass of wine. glass turned to bottle, bottle turned to two bottles next thing you know i order stuffed crust pizza and i'm writing dennis a four page letter. omg i'm so glad i fell asleep before sending it.

so yeah, i pretty much hate myself and want to die right now. if i can't even make it one night how am i ever going to make it a year? i wish i could afford gastric bypass. but still that's a big decision.

ok -- it was friday night -- you should always start a diet on MONDAY -- hello.

sinking
sinking
drinking
thinking
let me wake up dead.

omg -- i think that sounds like a country song!! lol!

seriously i want to die. but i know i wont and i know i'm just being dramatic so don't worry everyone. i will probably delete this anyway.

Friday, January 20, 2006

omg BLOGGING!

ok, i'm a total FREAK! this is my first day blogging and i have already made FIVE POSTS! at least i have something to do to keep me busy so i don't ATTACK THE BEN & JERRY'S IN THE BREAK ROOM!! lol (not really lol more like hell o hell)

I have been totally going mad and probably bugging tilly rabbit and hillary. i'm just reaching out. it's nice to know there are others like me.

i wish i could call dennis but that's water under the bridge :(


reaching out
------------
electric buzz on wires
friends i've never met
but giving virtual support
unlike dennis

dennis
sounds like tennis
i am going to be skinny and thennis
and thennis
dennis

the last supper

well i was supposed to start my diet yesterday and then i remembered that even death row inmates are entitled to a LAST SUPPER! lol.

i know i know i know i know i know! i over did it. BUT --- LAST is the key word here so it doesn't really matter right?

the last supper
-------------

goodbye pizza
i will miss you
you have been there
to catch my tears
so sad
but i musn't think of you
will you think of me?

hello new me
i don't yet know you
you've avoided me
and ignored my tears
so sad
i hope i like you
will you accept me?

NO I'M NOT HUNGRY!!!

good news bad news.

bad news first. i have had some health scares lately, i got some second opinions but everyone agrees that i MUST lose weight. i can't afford gastric bypass surgery so it will be back to dieting :(

i have been down this road before and it's filled with ups and downs -- mostly downs. so i guess that's why i'm trying to look on the bright side because the good news is that if i don't do something NOW i will probably be in for some real trouble in the not too distant future.

so the good news is this. I WILL DO IT. and this time won't be like last time.

hills are there to climb
sometimes we fall
like leaves in autumn
winters can be long
but spring comes
and doves fly again

are you there?

doves can fly
doves dont cry
this dove has love
sigh

sometimes i get sad

do you?